At Our Workshop, We Manage a Number of Facebook Groups and Business Pages
Some of the groups are commercial, while others are interest-based.
It’s been quite the show from the start, especially as we had to learn how to handle group conflicts in a respectful and balanced way. It wasn’t easy at first, but over time we explored what actually happens when conflicts arise — and we developed communication tools to manage them. The chief over at Make It Count is also a former psychotherapist, so we uncovered a pattern that repeats itself every time conflict emerges.
Let’s lift the veil a bit on the most important points.
The Problem with Online Behavior
One of the biggest issues with online discussions is that people lose their natural filter when typing. Folks say things online that they’d never say to someone face to face.
In real life, we have a protective inhibition — a social brake — that helps preserve our self-image. That filter doesn’t kick in online. That’s why discussions on Facebook are often raw, aggressive, and unfiltered.
The result? In many Facebook groups, people mentally regress. You can often spot the same users bouncing between groups, repeating the same childish attacks again and again.
From a therapeutic viewpoint, it’s a reenactment of unresolved childhood drama — played out unconsciously. It’s not acting, it’s re-acting. Replaying a trauma that was never dealt with properly.
People say, “That’s just how I am.” But that’s not true. It’s unhealed early-life hurt that’s driving the behavior. Once healed, behavior changes. Then that’s who they are. For now.
Pro Tip: Just Have ONE Admin
If you want as little drama as possible, it’s HIGHLY recommended that there is only ONE admin. YOU.
If you must have more, make them moderators instead.
What Moderators and Admins Can Do
Moderators and admins can:
Approve/decline member requests
Approve/decline posts
Remove posts and comments
Remove or block members
Pin and unpin posts
Admins can also:
Promote/demote other admins
Assign/remove moderators
Manage group settings
The Admin’s Role
The admin doesn’t need to be an expert in the group’s topic. Think of it like a corporate board — the chairman isn’t always a product specialist. They’re a professional leader.
Admins are the glue that holds everything together. Moderators are their loyal knights — enforcing peace and order.
The Moderator’s Role
Moderators should understand the group’s purpose well enough to guide it and manage who’s in or out. They don’t need deep topic expertise — just enough to spot spam, self-promotion, or valuable contributions.
Bonus if they have psychological insight to detect when a comment is manipulative, hostile, or attention-seeking.
Being a group admin doesn’t take much time. One person can easily manage hundreds of groups.
The Role of Experts
Facebook groups can assign “Expert” badges. These are often the folks who think they should be admins. But unless they have leadership and people skills, they should remain experts — not admins.
Member Roles
There are two main member types:
Information seekers (customers)
Information sharers (sellers)
You need more customers than sellers. If the group is non-commercial, both selling and buying have a value of zero.
A group made entirely of sellers? It has no future.
Facebook Is a Kindergarten
Let’s face it: Facebook is a kindergarten. And the admin team are the teachers. That takes skills.
As admin, you should NEVER jump into a heated debate or take sides. Your job is to identify the troublemakers and kick them out.
No warnings. No explanations. No debate. Just OUT.
If they reach out politely, you may choose to re-admit them after a timeout. But you don’t have to.
It’s like with kids who scream to get their way — you remove their privileges. One of those privileges is attention. So remove them from the group.
Troublemakers almost always violate the rules. There’s a fine line between useful info and veiled sales pitches. Moderators have the final say on who stays and who goes.
Democracy or Dictatorship?
There is NO democracy in a Facebook group.
The admin sets the rules — as long as they align with Facebook’s community standards.
Being a group admin is like sitting on a company’s board. That’s where decisions and direction are made.
If you don’t like it, you’re free to leave. Find another group that suits your views.
Groups are usually open to discussion, but once personal attacks start, it’s over.
Sometimes members are like customers. Other times, they’re like employees who help fulfill the group’s purpose.
The “Inhibition Filter” Breakdown
Heated situations arise when people lose their self-control. The result? Polarization.
Understanding and respect shrink. People get self-righteous. And the more distant they feel from the other side, the louder they shout. That’s when the insults begin.
Only a grown-up admin can restore order.
The Admin Board’s Duties
Keep disagreements internal. Resolve them privately. If they leak, factions will form.
Define and maintain the group’s direction and purpose.
Remove members who show ongoing disrespect or aggressive behavior.
Some admins stay behind the scenes. Others participate in debates — but only if they do so professionally and knowledgeably. If you’re not an expert, stay quiet.
Self-Promotion Will Kill Your Group
Shameless self-promotion ruins groups. If you allow promotion, you must be sure there are actual customers in the group. People aren’t there to be sold to — they’re looking for answers.
If too many sellers flood the group, users will leave.
Security Risks
There’s risk in being the only admin. We’ve seen accounts get hacked, which results in total loss of group/page access.
Facebook doesn’t allow fake accounts. Each account must be personal.
So your only option is to appoint someone you deeply trust as a backup admin — someone who can reinstate you if something goes wrong.
Beware of Facebook Business Accounts (FBA). They often try to take over admin roles. If you delete the FBA later, you may lose admin access completely. We’ve seen this happen more than once — and there’s nothing you can do about it.
ALL Admins Should:
Use long, complex, hard-to-guess passwords
Set up account recovery options
Enable Two-Factor Authentication
Suggestion for Group Rules
When creating your rules:
Describe the group’s ideology and purpose
Decide how much self-promotion is allowed (too much kills engagement)
Outline the group and Facebook’s conduct rules
Explain the consequences of rule violations (warnings, bans, etc.)
Sample Group Rules Template
1. Group ideology and purpose
We share experiences and help each other here. Ask for advice, share insights, support each other.
Respect others’ opinions and privacy.
Stay on topic. Don’t hijack threads — start a new one.
2. No self-promotion
Job posts are allowed. But anything aimed at making money off group members is NOT.
You may share a relevant, non-commercial article — as long as it brings value to the group.
3. Conduct rules
Heated debates or personal attacks? Closed immediately.
Sexual content? Not allowed (per Facebook rules).
No unsolicited private messages. It violates marketing laws.
Post your useful info in the thread, not in DMs.
4. Consequences
Negative or insulting comments will be deleted.
Personal attacks = immediate removal from the group.
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